hello world! :)
SOFIA ROXANNE A. CUY - born 27th of Sept, 2006 at 3:56p.m.
So seeing that ultimately, it would benefit my baby, i mustered enough courage to fight my phobia and had my left arm, and a day after, right arm injected with steroids... while clinging to Jon and thinking of my reward... a bump car ride with healthy Sofia one day... =)
...11 weeks to go...
The fifth month check-up started without any problems whatsoever. We heard our baby's heartbeat through my OB's doppler without difficulty. And since we were excited to know the baby's gender, we asked if we could have a 3d/4d uts. She said it was still too early but allowed us to have a pelvic (transabdominal) uts. That afternoon, we were scheduled for it at another hospital where she also has a clinic, and where the pelvic uts is cheaper.
But unfortunately, the sonologist wasn't able to see the baby's sex. She said the baby has its legs crossed. Sayang. :( Next month na lang ulit, we thought.
We were advised to get the report the next day... so we thought nothing of it anymore. When i finally had it, i was dumbfounded to see that there was an extreme fetal crowding and the impression was that i had oligohydramnios. Of course i didn't know what it meant the moment i read the report, but i had an inkling that it was not good. The moment i got home, i researched for it and what i read were really scary and i was right, it was downright not good... and i was CRUSHED.
We were so worried that we decided to consult with my OB the next day. I wanted some reassurance... but that's not what i got. Instead, i saw that she got rattled too. I was in the brink of tears already but the only thing she could advise was to drink lots and lots of water/fluids. Just confirming the things i've read.
I was up for a follow-up ultrasound, this time, for congenital scanning. For a month, i've downed more than 2 liters a day, prayed and hoped for the best.
I was sooo scared during the uts that i barely talked. But then again, the doctor/radiologist offered very little explanation too, and i found him arrogant and a bit rude. He didn't even let me see the monitor. I even asked if he could see the gender (just to make conversation) and he said "at this point, the gender is the very least important". Ouch. But he tried, and he still didn't see it. There was still too little water inside me...
He told us to wait outside the room while he prepares the report. I had a very negative feeling then. I didn't want to see it anymore but i had to... And seeing your worst fears written in black and white was enough to break my heart...
Fetal Kidneys not seen. Severe Oligohydramnios.
We went to see my OB (who was then about to leave). I remember dragging myself to her clinic upstairs because i had a heavy feeling and i was about to burst into tears anytime. I knew what that report meant. And my OB just affirmed my fears. I couldn't stop crying anymore while she was talking... I just let Jon talk to her becoz i couldn't handle it anymore. What i was able to comprehend was that i was up for another ultrasound after 2 weeks (initially, it was a month) but she said to brace ourselves for whatever may happen. She explained that since the kidneys were not seen, termination of the pregnancy could be an option since no one would want to continue with it, knowing that the baby has a defect. Another thing she said was, "Sakit noh?" :( SHE HAD NO IDEA HOW MUCH.
What do u do when u've wanted and waited for something, and it was almost within reach, but then, something happens and all your dreams are threatened to be washed away? It was devastating, to say the least.
I believe that everything happens for a reason. Questioning God why he allowed this to happen entered my mind but the question "why not"? was always quick to follow. Still, i have to admit that keeping the faith was hard because how can u hold on when there seems nothing left to hold on to???
Thankfully, our families (even those abroad) and closest friends were there for us. They made us strong and they made us felt comforted and loved during those saddest moments.
My brother-in-law's best friend (who's a doctor) adviced us to ask for a second opinion and to look for an OB-perinatologist.
Days after the heartbreaking news, we visited another doctor. I don't want to compare, but her reaction when she learned of my predicament was more acceptable than my first OB. I felt more at ease. She wanted a repeat ultrasound that afternoon and she even called and asked a colleague (OB-ultrasonologist) to do me.
Prayers are really powerful. A miracle or not, i was just soooo thankful when the first thing that the other doctor saw were the baby's kidneys!!! My amniotic fluid improved as well although it was still low normal. And now we already know that we're having a girl!!! We were just soooo very happy!
We've decided to change my OB already. My doctor now could be an angel in disguise for all i know. =)
I'm aware that this ain't over til i've given birth... In fact, my baby and I would be in close monitoring from now on. But for now, HOPE is very much alive. And with continued prayers, I know that Jon, I and Sofia Roxanne will make it thru... =)
*and some new symptoms*